Motherly Guilt

I know that every mom feels guilt -- guilt over not getting to her child in time to keep her son from getting hurt, from not keeping her daughter from getting her heart broken by that mean boy down the street, etc. I've done that and probably ten times my share of motherly guilt. But this time of year -- Mother's Day -- when I should be allowing my family to celebrate me and hoping to get lots of praise of what a great mom I am, I, instead feel guilty. I feel guilty because I'm NOT a good mom. I feel guilty because my kids grew up with a mother who fought with her own inner demons to a point that it affected them. I feel guilty that two of my three children suffer from their own "inner demons" and now will have to find a way to cope and make things work in their life as I am attempting to do in mine.

But mostly, I feel guilty that I want my family to celebrate me in all my Motherhood but my husband doesn't have his Mom to celebrate anymore. I feel guilty to even ask him to do anything for me because I know what he will always say, "You're not my mom -- it's not 'wife day.' It's "Mother's Day." I don't have a mom so I don't have to worry about it."

Part of me wants to yell at him that it is a celebration of ALL moms, of ALL the mothers in his life, not just his own. But then I feel the guilt. He's live without his mom for so long that this is probably a hard time for him.

I don't know what to do.

So, I go on with my Motherly Guilt and try to help my husband through it, wishing that his mother was here for him to dote over and hoping that maybe one year, my kids will dote over me.

Happy Mother's Day to all those wonderful Moms out there...